Sex is good for you. You sleep better, improve your health and strengthen your relationship. When you want more sex just ask for it. Sometimes it’s not that easy. If you’re not sure how to get the message across – here are some helpful ideas.

1. Write it down
It can be embarrassing to say it out loud.  Writing down your desires can help shake off your inhibitions, because you are getting the message across without eye contact.  Pop a note in their pocket before you leave for work, send an email or sms. What you say depends on your relationship, Build the anticipation. “Can’t wait till tonight” or “Thinking dirty about you right now” could do the trick. You can be more graphic with saying something like, “Tonight, I’m getting into bed naked and will do XYZ to you…” than if you were saying it in person.

2.  Make a private code
Between the two of you, come up with a word or phrase that is a secret call for sex.  Make sure it’s something you can say in front of anyone, anywhere, anytime.  It may sound ordinary to others but you will both know something exciting is going to happen later.  Try “Honey, can you help me sort out the bills later?” or, “I really have a headache!”  Anticipation helps!!

3. Find the mood
Getting in the mood can be half the battle. Look at some erotic images, such as those in the Kama Sutra, or read a few passages from a raunchy romance novel to put you in a sexual state of mind. Or just spend some time thinking in detail about the last time you had sex. Going for a walk or the gym can boost endorphins, as can wearing lingerie to work or even thinking about your favourite celebrity crush. If you keep sex in mind all day, the vibes will last well until bedtime, and inspire you to make a move.

4. Body language
If talking is not your thing try using the magic of body language. Try a kiss on his neck or a little ear-nibbling while he’s on the computer or watching TV. Increase the message by stroking his arm while you’re sitting near each other.  Increasing the moves slowly means that anticipation builds and the new moves can be a surprising turn on for spontaneous sex.
 

5. A new move
Try something new and different as a couple. Attend an art class, go to see a foreign movie or signing up as a volunteer in your community. Doing something new together increases the feel good hormones in your brain. That feeling of happiness and enjoyment can continue on afterwards. If you’ve enjoyed that foreign film or art class, you could well end up making love when you get home. The new tradition could catch on and may become an addictive habit.

6. Use compliments
As relationships progress, couples forget to court and complement one another. Remembering and commenting on each other’s positive attributes increases affection, and reminds you when sex was likely intoxicating and frequent. Let your partner know when they look sexy or impress you. Try “You look so hot in that outfit!” Or, “Honey, you just look so sexy to me when you’re cooking us dinner.” Appreciation doesn’t go unrewarded.
 
7. Forget the routine
Make the moves at different times. Taking your partner by surprise may help you shed a few of your inhibitions. Try whispering “Want to do it?” in his ear while he’s doing the dishes will add variety.  Or make a “Sex date”. The anticipation of what’s coming will build the excitement. 

8. Play “remember when”
When you’re sitting together, talk about some sexy times you’ve shared. Remember when you stayed in bed all day and only got up to eat, lets them know that you are thinking about them in a sexual way.  Remembering past experiences will pave the way for sex and reinforce the bond between you as a couple.

9. Be direct
Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns – so to speak!! What man doesn’t want to hear, “I’m taking a shower. Care to join me?” Or, “Get in bed. Now.” You don’t always have to worry about being clever or creative, or spend time and energy conjuring up ways to ask for it. And practice makes perfect! The more you directly ask for sex, the more second nature it will become. After all, subtlety is not their strong suit.